The Role of Husbands in Marriage

It has been a while since I posted to the blog, but now that I'm back in the saddle I will be able to keep everything updated a little more consistently.

On Sunday, we studied the role of husbands in marriage. Genesis 2 actually uses the term that best describes the role of wives in marriage; however, we have to infer the term that best describes the role of husbands. The term that best describes the role of husbands is servant-leader. We take the "leader" side of that term from passages such as Ephesians 5:23, where the Bible says: "the husband is the head of the wife." We take the "servant" side of the term from passages like Mark 10:42-45, where Jesus makes clear that the standard for the type of leadership he advocates and models is service and not abuse of power.

The passage in Mark 10 indicates that the foremost concern of a servant-leader is to do the will of God. In Mark 10:45, Jesus said, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many." In other words, Jesus came to do God's will.

Beneath the over-arching concern to do God's will are several other priorities and skills of servant-leaders. Keep in mind these are not matters of personality. Regardless of what personality-type a husband might be, he is to incorporate these priorities and functions into his leadership of the family. In some cases, that will be purposely setting about to develop his skills in each of the following areas:

Loving-a servant-leader loves others (John 13:34)

Sacrificing-a servant-leader sacrifices himself for others (John 15:13)

Blessing-a servant leader blesses others rather than responding to them with curses or fault-finding (Matthew 10:1-11:1; 25:31-46; Revelation 12:10)

Growing-a servant-leader is a learner and is open to God's use of people and situations to influence change in his own life (Genesis 37-50; Proverbs 27:17)

Relationship-building-a servant-leader seeks forgiveness when he offends and grants forgiveness when he is offended, while pursuing peace and trust in his relationships (Ephesians 4:30; Romans 12:18; and Hebrews 12:14)

Modeling-a servant-leader sets and example for others to follow (John 13:12-17)

Coaching-a servant-leader sees himself as a coach who trains and directs others without controlling their every move (Matthew 28_18-20; Matthew 10:1-11:1)

Problem-solving-a servant-leader does not let problems fester, but seeks to solve them biblically (Mark 10:35-45)

Active-listening-a servant-leader seeks to understand the perspectives of others (James 1:19)

Consensus-building-a servant-leader pursues same-mindedness in the Lord, seeking to satisfy the interests of others as well as of himself (Philippians 4:2; 2:4)

Examples of all of the above can be found in the life of the Lord Jesus, who is the perfect example of servant-leadership. Other things could be added to the list, but these would be a great place to begin a pursuit of servant-leadership as the type of husbands God wants all of us to be.